How to open yourself to receive help

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How to open yourself to receive help

Some people resist the sympathy of others. That’s why – and what they can do.

Many of us aspire to be more compassionate in our lives and build a more compassionate society. In doing so, we try to overcome the obstacles that prevent us from being mobilized to help the people around us – overwhelming, indifferent and divisive.

But we don’t often think of obstacles that might hinder someone from accepting a comfortable acceptance of compassion. However, studies have shown that some people actually fear the goal of being compassionate, which may hurt their mental health. That’s why some of us resist help – and what we can do to open our sympathies to others.

A recent study published in the journal is examining how the fear of receiving sympathy affects how people behave in difficult times.

Researchers for a large university, Canada’s 85 female college students has carried on the investigation of sympathy to avoid to “if I think someone is kind to me and care for me, I put forward a barrier” to measure this statement. Those who reported more fear of empathy also said they were less likely to share their struggles with friends and family.

Why is this a problem? Social support in difficult times helps us cope and recover from the difficult times of life. On a practical level, support can help us resolve or correct situations that lead to difficulties. A national study found that a lack of social support increases the susceptibility to mental disorders and diseases, and the risk factors for physical health are higher than lifetime smoking habits. Supportive friends and family are also concerned about excessive self-criticism. We rely on others to remind us that we are safe, important, and hopeful – a key aspect of coping. In fact, the university of Derby’s Paul gilbert has shown that self-criticism and the fear of empathy lead to greater risk of depression.

Other research has shown that the more afraid to accept compassionate people tend to suppress their emotional reactions to difficult experience, it is a habit of associated with cardiovascular risk and alexithymia: within themselves and others acknowledge emotional ability decline. Finally, the fear of compassion is associated with lower mindfulness, a trait associated with the myriad benefits of health and well-being.

Given the benefits, why do some people refuse to accept compassion?

Some people worry that the other person won’t respond and they will refuse or fire the issue. This situation may also lead to a new crisis, which arises from the fact that a person is ignored or hostile, not sympathetic, by the memory of his childhood. For example, some studies have shown that people who recall that their parents are not hot are more likely to be afraid of empathy.

Even providing support can be embarrassing, uncomfortable, or even painful, becoming the focal point of compassion. Accept compassionate support is likely to challenge a person the sense is consistent with the social or cultural norms, to keep their emotions in insist, or is regarded as individual self-sufficiency, “together” or “low maintenance”. Accepting empathy involves identifying personal vulnerability in nature, which can make it difficult to “stick to it” or, if things get emotional, bring shame on the formula. Some people may also avoid feeling like a burden, asking others to waste precious time and energy.

Finally, some people are less willing to talk about their shame or frustration, and that’s the proof of our absolute failure. It’s too risky for them to disclose these feelings; They worry that sharing personal difficulties is more likely to worsen than improve their feelings.

Do any of these reasons sound familiar? Read on.

The healing power of self-pity

The mindfulness study finds a way to reduce the fear of empathy from others: kindness toward you.

The researchers asked participants to write a story about an unhappy person who remembered 10 minutes of shame and shame. They were randomly divided into three groups.

The researchers first told them to think about their experiences in a thoughtful way. Self-compassion involves the difficult experience we have seen from the outside, expressing our grieving friends to ourselves and extending kindness and support to ourselves. The second group was instructed to consider retaining their self-esteem while writing. Finally, write freely and explore and describe their experiences in detail.

Participants rated them as “insecure” and “distressed” before and after writing. The result? Those who practice self-compassion seem to feel better. In contrast to self-esteem and freedom of writing, self-pitying writing reduces the adverse feelings of participants who are highly fearful of empathy.

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