Grab all, or at least a little: pokemon GO, pokemon GO.

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Grab all, or at least a little: pokemon GO, pokemon GO.

Full disclosure, here at the beginning: I didn’t know the pokemon.

It’s not technically true; Here’s a list of all the information I know about Pokemon GO before I play Pokemon GO (this knowledge is absorbed only through cultural infiltration, because it’s ubiquitous).

1. Pikachu is a pokemon (species?) . This is an “electric” pokemon. It’s yellow. It has a lovely voice. It’s a very annoying sound.

Squirtle is another pokemon, a “water” pokemon. It spouted out, as one might imagine.

There are many different kinds of pokemon, and there are many different types.

These different types include: electricity, water, earth, wind, fire, blood, sweat, tears, mother, water bottle, speed and no good I can only be sure of the first two.

Different kinds of pokemon “evolved” in different forms, with different names and more powerful functions.

They evolve into these different forms because they gain experience by defeating each other’s experience.

Different types of pokemon go better than runny noses, and have more verve, happiness, and hobbies in certain types, which are less effective for other types. For example, the type of water is likely to fight fire type. (I mean, you’d think, right?) It’s good to have a digital type against ethylene, although they don’t really capture the roundness of the music that you guessed correctly, and I’m also doing this.

The pokemon are wild animals. Electronic game’s purpose is to find them and seize them, by their big throwing a ball, called the Pokeball or I guess they are my dream, or I guess they are Ghostbusters in Pokeballs. I don’t think it’s best to stay here.

Then, you take your pokemon go to the pokemon gym, where they make the snot out of each other for your happiness.

Finally, this is the tenth fact, I admit I’m not sure, but I have long suspected the pokemon:

The whole thing will eventually come to light, an incredible effort by the rooster to be culturally adapted to the hateful business model of many of the world’s most vulnerable children.

In view of the above, why did I download Pokemon GO last night? Last night? This morning, in my way? Exercise on my way back? When the dog is running? On the way to Metro? From the subway to the office?

So hang up the story.

How it works

Pokemon GO is called “augmented reality” by its developers. Unlike many pokemon games released before, the technology can be cooperate with smartphones mapping software, will be randomly generated animation pokemon placed in the side of the “real world”.

On the screen of your phone, you will see your neighbor’s map (very detailed) and your own pokemon character. As you walk through your day, get out, pick up your dry cleaning or whatever, and on your phone, your avatar will walk through the map with you.

At some random intervals, you will receive a pokemon go nearby. You go to the real world, pick up your phone and prosper: the real world and the gaming world come together. Your camera captures the problematic parts, but the game will place an animated pokemon on the sidewalk in the park – looking at you everywhere.

Using your touch screen, you throw a Pokeball on the creature (it doesn’t look so easy, trust me) and catch it. It then joined you trapped in a hell of the list of cute animals in outer space, so that they can fight for your entertainment, just like you is a Caesar Commodus ugly shorts and lively ball cap.

There are more things: some landmarks – the statue of the near you, park, even a random building – is designated as “Pokestops” in the game, this means that you can close to them on a regular basis and update your Pokeballs supplies, and so on. And every few blocks, some places will be designated as a pokemon gym, where you can party, let my dear magic slave gladiators darling li of others’ l go out magic slave gladiators.

Importantly, you can’t take your pokemon to a pokemon gym until you reach level 5. I think it is because to pokemon gym, like to a fixed stadium: you always give it up, until you did some work alone, so that you can reduce your Jigglypuff self-consciousness.

Straight Creepin’, or: decide to GO with Pokemon GO.

On Wednesday, the eastern United States time at 9:05: my Twitter timeline is filled with terrible news, and people can understand (to me), by sharing just released in the United States in despair Pokemon GO screenshots and head to escape the message. I reverently ignore them and read more about the news.

9:10 PM: I visited the app store. There’s no reason. Just go and see. I’ve noticed that pokemon GO is free, in a sense, it functions in the “application to buy”, of course, this means that if a person even the tiniest bit infatuated with, what it is, but free. Cancel free. The freedom. It’s free, it’s polar, antimatter, negative side, that’s the game. No, thank you.

9:12 p.m. : I download the pokemon GO.

9:13-9:18: my name and my avatar. In terms of designing my appearance, these choices have greatly limited me. I can only choose the color of my skin, my hair, my rugged coat, I-Love-the 90s cargo shorts, sneakers, backpacks and light ball caps. I was so excited that I couldn’t even turn the ball cap from “happy” to “rough”. If developers are in their game, they will make this option an in-app purchase.

9:19 PM: the game’s tutorial first tells me “there is a wild Pidgey nearby!” I picked up the phone and saw that “nearby” was a shocking understatement: a cartoon bird that fluttered over my living room carpet two feet away. This is PIDGEYING from inside the house.

9:20 PM: I try to put a Pokeball on it. I don’t know what to do. A three-second online search will reveal the right approach, but I admit that there’s something positive and cute about it in my apartment, so I’m relentless. Am I simply tapping my phone in my own direction? No. Would I touch the Pokeball at the bottom of the screen and flick it to Pidgey, just like I did in the world’s cutest strip club, trying to make it rain? Is. That’s what I should do.

9:23 PM: it’s not easy.

9:25 PM: okay, it’s not really.

9:30 p.m. : the drop in Pokeball is just below Pidgey and has a light show. Pokemon disappeared, where the carpet in my apartment, nobody had sat beside the ugly suffered the orange chair, but my husband thought to be “popular”, a lie is a Pokeball kind… Tremor. Disturbing. It’s as if its internal entities are fighting for air and light and freedom. Yes, I’m not going to think about it any more.

9:32 p.m. : “there’s a wild Squirtle in the neighborhood!” The tutorial continues. There, a blue sea turtle was watching me with dirty, wet eyes, because of the partition we could not use. Oh. Good tutorials give me unlimited Pokeballs because…

9:33 PM: ga.

9:34 PM: almost…

9:35 PM: are you kidding me?

9:36 PM: success! Away! Hahaha I trust you to forget, positive and lovely soul turtle thing!

9:40 PM: the screen is filled with the amazing details of my nearby map. The hutong is next to our building. The park runs one block. The circular driveway of the nearby apartment building (!) . And more: the pokemon world there, waiting for me.

9:41 PM: I decided to close the application. There is no need to visit nearby at night. Everything will be tomorrow. Anyway, I have one modification, due tomorrow.

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